Step Away From The Lights!!!!

I'm writing in drips and drabs, fits and starts: not really accomplishing much of anything here lately. Even my blog is sluggish.




What's up with that? Is there some kind of Christmas Conspiracy that drains the brains of writers? Or maybe there is some kind of hypnotic effect from all those little twinkle lights. I think that has to be it, why I'm not writing like I want to.




It's those little twinkle lights that make me think of softly falling snow, and hot buttered rums before a roaring fire, safely snuggled into the arms of the one who loves me beyond all measure. Those little blinky white lights suck you into various holiday fantasies and when you blink, and see reason once again, the disappointment is overwhelming.



Yep - little twinkly lights will definitely suck all the get up and go out of your day so be careful, folks. They are every where! Protect yourself:



1) Wear dark glasses: this will cut down on the hypnotic effect and just leave a mild glow of Christmas confusion. Plus, people will think you are a celebrity (or totally crazy).



2) Repeat 'Bah Humbug' at 30 second intervals to keep away the lure of the shiny lights (and anyone else who may have been contemplating wishinig you Good Cheer this holiday season).



3) Turn off the TV - even that celebrity reindeer with his own movie has a twinkly light up nose! No where is safe, you know.



4) Decline all offers of holiday goodies. This will make you cranky enough to really start hating the whole holiday scene. Trust me on this. Did you ever say no to chocolate and cookies over Christmas??? It's like having a day without coffee...definitely not pretty!



5) Last but not least, don't go shopping. Do NOT buy gifts for anyone! Seriously, have you ever noticed that every street you walk down is lined with those pretty, sorry, pesky twinkly lights that lead you from store to store? It's part of the master plot to suck the brains right out of you and leave you in a mushy puddle in the middle of the street, pointing at a display and saying, "Oooohhhh, isn't it pretty?"



See what I mean? I'm so totally caught up in a white, twinkly light Christmas that my mind won't go anywhere else. I can't even concentrate on writing a humorous blog entry because.....well, because it's Christmas and .....the little twinkly lights have me in their spell. I'm a willing captive.



Merry Christmas everyone. I'll be back in full force after the holidays, after everyone has packed away those little lights that I just can't shut up about!



Thank you for reading my blog this year - I hope I didn't disappoint.